The Special
by Mustard Lady
Summary: Gaston is in one of his moods again, which is really his own fault. Of course, he never sees it that way and his younger sister, Lissa is fed up with his behavior for today. They go to the tavern to clear their heads. Seeing Lissa so upset, Lefou decides to help her by slipping her his alcoholic invention. She fancies it more than he'd anticipated, which greatly embarrasses Gaston!


**I don't own BATB. This is based on the 2017 live-action version.**

**Okay, so if any of you have read my fic Brother Dear, you'll know this came from the chapter _My, What a Jerk That Gaston! _If you haven't read it this might be confusing. ****Plus, Lissa is _not _a drinker. She never touches the stuff. So...**

**I was inspired by this from watching FLASH episode _Girls' Night Out._**

**The night of Gaston's brooding over Belle, Lefou can see Lissa is upset, so he 'kindly' slips a bit of his special into her drink to help her feel better. He pays people to help cheer Gaston up. But, once that is accomplished, Lissa enjoys his concoction a bit more than he'd originally wanted, much to Gaston's chagrin! **

* * *

Lissa was furious. Her peaceful lunch alone with her friend Belle had been completely botched, with no _small _thanks to her big, dim-witted, impulsive brother Gaston! Gaston and Lefou were supposed to be out hunting! But they'd returned much too early. Gaston had instantly, mentally licked his lips in hungry delight when he'd seen that Belle was in his house-a rare thing indeed-and had tried to become too friendly with her, no matter how much she'd protested or how much his sister Lissa had tried to divert his attention. Belle had fled the house, deeply offended and hurt. Gaston had been ticked off that he'd been so close to his prey this time, and she'd gotten away! He'd put all the blame on Lissa, right when she was so mad at him she couldn't find the right words to bring him to reason! Finally, he agreed to her suggestion to just go over to the tavern to brood. Lissa had decided to go too. After his humiliating behavior this afternoon, Lissa was starving to be around real _human beings! _

"_Ohhh. I guess things haven't quite cooled off, huh?" _Lefou had said to her when they'd come in. He was trying to lighten the moody atmosphere that had walked in.

"_It's your turn!" _Lissa whispered loudly, fed up with Gaston's manipulative fits, and needing a strong sarsaparilla to steam off in. _"I've had it, Lefou. And he's not being the friendly sort right now! I need some breathing space."_

"_Sure." _Lefou smiled. He always knew the right thing to say to get Gaston back in a good head space. _"You just go enjoy yourself. I'll look after him." _

"_You're a lifesaver." _Lissa sighed heavily, patting his shoulder, then scurrying away from her brother.

Lissa stood in the corner, far from where her brother sat near the fireplace, with Lefou ever the present audience. She cringed inwardly as she couldn't escape hearing Gaston dramatize his sorrow at being rejected by Belle. Was she crazy?! He could have his pick of _any woman._ Any woman in town would faint in glee if he asked her to marry him! How come Belle was the only girl in town, save his sibling, who refused to bat an eye at what a stunning specimen he was? "Because she has her wits about her." Lissa muttered under her breath. She was so zoned in on her own stormy emotions that she slightly jumped with a start when she felt a hand touch her arm. Lefou? When had he left Gaston's side of his own free will? "You startled me." Lissa said.

"Sorry." Lefou grinned. He offered her a fresh refilled mug of his recent invention added to the bar menu. "Here. You looked as if you could use a pick-me-up."

"_Merci."_ Lissa nodded gratefully, and took several, flustered gulps. A few older women nearby narrowed their eyes at her unladylike manner. Lissa didn't care. They didn't know what it was like to live with the tall, dark, strong, handsome, _rude, and nasty brute _of a brother she had to put up with every day! The cold root beer in her hand was a much needed, steamy therapy.

Lefou slipped the customers pieces of money to belt out how awesome a guy Gaston was. Some of them did it begrudgingly, while others-particularly the eligible lasses in town-threw themselves into it. Lissa didn't participate in the excitement, however, with her mind a bit fuzzy, she tapped her feet and slammed her palms on the counter.

* * *

Gaston dropped down in his favorite chair, feeling much prouder of himself than when he arrived tonight. "Ah, Lefou, you're the best! How is it no girl has snatched you up yet?" He asked.

"I've been told that I'm clingy, but I really don't get it." Lefou said with furrowed brows.

"Hmm. Get me a beer, will you?" Gaston slouched in his chair.

"Sure." Lefou nodded and turned to get one. As he came to the bar, he was dumbfounded to see Lissa leaning forward on the counter and dazedly reaching for a mug. "Uhh, Lissa? Are you okay?" Lefou asked, tapping her shoulder.

"_Wwhhaaattttt?" _Lissa looked up at him, squinting. "Oh! Hi, Lefou!"

"Uhh...hi?" Lefou cleared his throat. "Uhm...you feeling okay?"

"I feel..." She hiccuped, "I feel so wonderful, and happy, and..._wwhhooaaa..." _She started to fall sideways off the stool. Lefou pinched her arm and tilted her back upright. "I feel, great!" She smiled lazily. "And it's all thanks _to you." _She pointed at him.

"Well, glad I could help." Lefou smiled with a shrug. "Just, uh...don't overdo it, okay?" He whispered.

"_Wwhhaattt?" _Lissa hicupped, giggling.

"You might want to take it easy on that stuff." Lefou hinted.

"Oh, yes. Yes, sure! _I'm ffiiinnne. _Don't worry about me, Lefou." She clapped his shoulder. "You work too hard. You should go have a good time. Will you do that for me?"

"Uh-huh." Lefou pasted a toothy smile. This was going a little farther than he'd wanted it to. "Excuse me."

"_Aww, poor Lefou."_ Lissa sniffled dizzily. _"So underappreciated."_ She lay on the counter, with her head in her arms, twirling her mug around. _"Breaks me up."_ She slurred dramatically. _"Nobody loves him. Oh, what are we gonna do?_ We gotta do _something." _

"_Ohhh, boy." _Lefou gulped. _"Maybe I can stop her before it goes...too far?" _

Lefou returned to Gaston with the largest mug of ale he could get, which was overflowing with foam. "Ahh. Perfect." Gaston purred without so much as a thank you. Lefou sat down next to him.

"You've got the brawn, Gaston. That's for sure." Tom said.

"I know. Great, isn't it?" Gaston boasted.

"But can't you tone it down a bit once in a while and give the other fellas around here a chance?" Frances groaned. "With you around, I'm never going to find a girl to marry me! They all flock to you!"

"Can you honestly blame them?" Gaston smirked. Lefou coughed his beer out. Frances glared at Gaston. "Your loss, boy. So sorry. At least the ladies in this town know a true prize when they see it! Don't be such a sorehead, fella. It is my fault that I've got all of it down?"

"Don't be a sorehead, huh?" Frances scowled.

"Oh, so we should be more like Madame Discreet over there." Dick pointed across the room toward the bar. _Lissa _was dazedly standing on the counter, bearing a long rifle, accepting bets that guys threw into her hands, and aiming the firearm toward the wall!

"Hey, that's _my _gun!" Gaston gaped in horror.

Lefou cringed. _Oh, good grief. Gaston is going to KILL me!_

Gaston narrowed his eyes right at Lefou who swallowed hard, sitting there sheepishly, like a guilty child, just praying that Gaston didn't shoot him! "What do _you _know about this?" Gaston asked dangerously, straightening up in his chair.

Lefou chuckled innocently. "Well, I, uh...I might have, uh..."

"Out with it." Gaston scowled.

"I might have...slipped a bit of the special into her root beer. When you guys arrived."

"Lefou!" Gaston sputtered. "I'm surprised at you."

"Just don't shoot me!" Lefou winced. "She was moody. I...I was just trying to help everyone have a good time!"

"Well, you've certainly mastered that!" Gaston hissed. His eyes widened in pure terror as he realized Lissa's intended target on the wall above the beer barrels. "NO!" Gaston hollered, sprinting to his feet and dashed to the bar. "Not the boar! Lissa! Stop!" Gaston roared. He jerked the gun from its line of fire, relieved that his little sister hadn't spoiled one of his prize trophies! However, when he'd grabbed the gun, she'd pulled the trigger and it fired, shooting Stanley's glass of beer, shattering glass and liquor all over him. Most everybody howled with glee. Stanley was not amused, and Gaston was very embarrassed. Many of the men cheered and Lissa joined them.

"Get down from there." Gaston growled, pulling her off the counter. She wobbled when he set her on the floor. "Lissa, have you been..." She looked up at him and smiled a ditsy smile. "Good grief. _You have!" _Gaston sputtered in astonishment. Lissa had never been a drinker. She didn't like liquor, never touched the stuff. And now here she was, drunk as a horse! Gaston would've been highly amused if he wasn't so embarrassed by all the unwanted attention he was getting for this. The crowd was jeering at Lissa and making wise cracks to Gaston.

"Why, hello there, Captain tall, dark, and gruesome!" Lissa greeted groggily. "Aren't you a handsome fella?" She started to fall to the floor but he pulled her up. "Whoa! And strong too! What do you eat for breakfast, tiger meat or something?"

"Shut it!" Gaston snarled in her ear. "Haven't you done enough? You are humiliating me in front of the whole town!"

"_Ohhh, am I now?"_ Lissa puffed out her lip. "My apologies, Monsieur. I didn't know shoe polishing was such an unforgivable crime!" She wagged her head back and forth. "Who makes the crazy laws in this crumby town anyway?"

"You need to sit down." Gaston curled his lip and dragged her toward the fireplace. Gaston dropped into his chair and crossed his legs. Lissa, completely woozy, turned her back to him and just plopped right down in his lap with her arms crossed. "Sis..." Gaston grunted, "do you mind?"

"I don't mind at all. I don't mind. What's there to mind about?" Lissa's head swayed back and forth till she looked behind her and she squinted at Gaston's face. _"Heeeyyy," _she groaned, "who said you could come and plaster weed grass on for your masquerade, huh?" She poked his whiskers on his upper lip. Gaston rolled his eyes and shoved her finger away.

"That dimwit special." Gaston muttered under his breath. Lissa gasped.

"Why you! _What did you just call me?!_" She sputtered and lazily swatted his face. "How _dddddaaarrreee _you." She glanced down at his long legs. "Hey, this town ain't big enough for the two of us. Move over." She pushed his shoulders.

"That's enough, Lissa." Gaston said darkly.

"_WHO'S LISSA?!" _Lissa hollered in his face, making him cringe.

"Shhh! Pipe down, Sis!" Gaston hissed, pushing her away.

"Did you hear that, people?" Lissa groggily said as she glanced at the wall. "He called me a fish!"

"That's the last straw." Gaston groaned. "I'm gonna take you home."

"No thanks. I don't take in stray salamanders." Lissa laughed. "Hey, you're taking up all the room." She dazedly pouted, shoving Gaston's shoulders. "Shove off, you! Go on, go on." She pushed at his broad shoulders.

"Don't touch me like that!" Gaston growled, slapping her hand.

"Get off. You took my seat, buster!" Lissa scolded with glazed eyes. "Move it! Well, go on. Shove off." Gaston jumped to his feet with his fists clenched. He'd had enough. "Go on now, shoo! Shoo, go away." Lissa waved her hands at him. "Ahh, I like bear rugs." She cozily lay back in Gaston's favorite chair.

"_Lissa!" _Lefou gasped. _Now Gaston's REALLY GONNA KILL ME!_

"Hmm?" Lissa asked lazily.

"_What _did you just do?!"

"I just hauled in a lovely bull moose for the fireplace mantle." Lissa smiled. "Pretty good shot, wouldn't you say?"

Lefou slapped his palm onto his face, wide-eyed and bewildered. _"__Oh, gosh! __What have I done?"_ He sputtered. Gaston gazed down at him with disdain.

"This is your fault." Gaston hissed in his ear.

"I know." Lefou said timidly. _"__I kno__w, _Gaston. Hey, I was just trying to cheer her up! She's been a bit glum all evening."

"And succeeded in making a spectacle of me, in front of the whole town." Gaston snarled.

"Gosh, I'm sorry, Gaston!"

"Don't ever let me catch you..."

"Ooo. Touchy." Lissa said about Gaston. "Oo. That one is a real brute. Looks like one too."

"Uhh, Lefou?_ When_ exactly does this gesture of yours _stop_ giving?" Gaston groaned.

"Gosh, I don't know!" Lefou threw up his hands in defeat.

"Just how much did you give her?" Gaston hovered dangerously over Lefou.

"Only a little!"

"Just how much is a little, Lefou?"

"Only half a pint. I swear, that is all I gave her, Gaston! Honest!" Lefou whimpered defensively.

"A pint? _A pint? _Look at her, Lefou! It looks to me like she consumed an entire barrel full. This is on you, my friend. And lucky for you, I prevented her from ruining one of my prize trophies!"

"That was a riot!" One of the men pointed out. "Did you see the way she shoved him out of his own seat? What I wouldn't give to see that again!"

Gaston's face burned. "Lefou, get her out of here. Now!" He barked.

"Gaston, just simmer down..." Lefou tried to appease him.

"I've been humiliated already once today. This is two times too many. Take her home and see that she stays there!" Gaston ordered.

"Uh, you're her brother. What are you going to do?" Lefou frowned.

"I need a serious drink. Maybe I'll take a whiff of that special, myself." Gaston groaned.

"Oh, gosh! You'd better not!" Lefou protested. He made his way over to Lissa who suddenly didn't look so cheerful anymore. She was curled up in Gaston's chair, tightly holding her stomach. "Lissa? Uhh...something wrong?" Lefou gulped. Lissa looked over at him miserably, her face pale.

"Lefou, is that you talking to me?" Lissa cringed.

"Yeah?"

"I feel horrible! I think I'm gonna be sick!"

"Oh, dear." Lefou swallowed, and grabbed her by the arms and rushed her up the stairs and outside. Lissa threw herself on the ground the moment they reached the street and retched terribly. Lefou grimaced sympathetically and patted her back. When she was finally done, she rolled over onto her side. Lefou pulled out his handkerchief and wiped her mouth with it. "Come on, Lissa. Let's get you home." He said encouragingly.

"Ohhh!" Lissa groaned, wincing. "Noo. I can't move. How far from shore are we?"

"Come on." Lefou said, pulling her to her feet.

"Ohhh." Lissa grumbled dizzily. Lefou managed to help her home though she had another case of upset stomach as they reached her own front yard. Lefou brought her inside and let her collapse onto the couch. "I have _never _felt soooo seasick." Lissa said miserably.

"Here." Lefou smiled. He'd gone into the kitchen and grabbed a wet cloth, and set it on her head.

"Lefou!" Lissa sputtered. "What are you trying to do, freeze me?"

"No. I'm trying to help relieve the monster of a hangover you're going to have in the morning."

"Oh, Lefou. I'm begging you. If you were ever going to kill me and put me out of my misery, please do it now!" Lissa begged pitifully.

"You'll be alright. If you drink this." Lefou offered her a steaming cup.

"_What _is it?" She asked suspiciously.

"Tea. Good old fashioned, soothing, French tea."

"That was a long list of words, Lefou." Lissa's head swayed.

"Drink this and go to sleep." Lefou said. Lissa clumsily obeyed. She was out in no time. Lefou patted her head and covered her with a quilt before he took his leave. "I just hope she doesn't bite my head off when she finds out about this!" He told himself.

* * *

When Lefou returned back to the tavern, Gaston was lounging on one of the long tables, shooting his pistol into the plaster on the ceiling. "What are you doing, Gaston?" Lefou asked excitedly. Gaston slowly looked at him with glazed eyes.

"_Lefou..." _He slurred.

_OH NO! Not him too! He's going to skin me alive when he snaps out of it! _Lefou thought frantically.

"Would you polish my boots, please?" Gaston asked, trying to keep his head from lolling around.

"Do I look like your personal chamber maid?" Lefou laughed.

"You'd make a wonderful chamber maid, Lefou." Gaston smiled dizzily. "We can always count on Lefou. Isn't that right, boys?"

* * *

Lefou was glad Gaston was in a much more cheerful and less dangerous mood now. But the big brute just didn't know when he'd had enough. He kept demanding more of the special, it was spilling over his precious red coat, staining it. Gaston's normally perfect hair was unkempt now, and he smelled like alcohol.

It was past midnight when Lefou struggled dragging Gaston home. Gaston was singing his own praises incoherently, and extra loud, and kept wandering away from Lefou. Lefou rushed after him and pulled him back. They finally reached the house! Gaston dazedly climbed up the steps on his hands and knees, then just dropped on the parlor floor. Lefou tried pulling him to his feet but it was no use. "You'll have to forgive me, buddy. But I try to haul you upstairs myself, I'm more than likely to break my spine! Sleep it off, pal. Hope you feel better in the morning." Lefou sighed and fled.

* * *

The next morning, Lefou raced to the Legume's home to see how his friends were faring. Lissa was still dozing on the sofa, and Gaston was all sprawled out face down on the floor same as last night. He wouldn't be awake for hours, maybe even days!

"How many did _you _have last night, pal?" Lefou gaped. "Well, at least I know the customers will enjoy my new product!"


End file.
